"You don't need many heroes, if you choose carefully."
--John Hart Ely, Democracy and Distrust (1980)
What makes a hero? Should we really look to movie stars, athletes, or millionaires to inspire us in our daily lives? Honestly, what can we really learn from such people that is of any real use?
I believe the really useful lessons in heroism come to us from the way those nearest to us soldier through their lives every day. Hopefully, many such lessons come from parents, like Kaye Rudser.
In the 24 years after her husband Ron passed away, Mrs Rudser raised her children Michelyn, Tim, Paula, and my friend Andrea all by herself, with every bit of money, time, love, and pride she could scrape together. It was very far removed from the life of a movie star, athlete, or millionaire, to be sure. Still, I hope she remembers those years with the joy and satisfaction she deserves to feel.
Now, Mrs. Rudser's moment in the sun is heavily shadowed by the progression of devastating carcinoid cancer. It has stripped her of normalcy, threatened her dignity, and robbed her of the simple pleasures we all take for granted, such as the enjoyment of food, mobility, and independence.
Yet she continues to weather and even triumph over it all--the multiple abdominal surgeries, the lengthy hospitalizations, the indignities, the discouraging news, and the pain--with all the same fiery grace, endurance, and drive that framed her entire life. I know Andrea is still inspired by her mother, and takes after her. She speaks of her mother often, visits her frequently in North Dakota, and misses her every single day.
Kaye Rudser does not inspire us by fame or fortune; she does not lift us up merely by tacitly reminding us that "things could be worse for us." Rather, she teaches us that life must be lived, that people must be loved, and that happiness must be sought in all the great and small things . . . no matter what.
Please join me in celebrating the everyday heroes who struggle; please donate to the Caring for Carcinoid Foundation.
John N. Walker