Just before midnight on November 10, 2009 I received that phone call. My father was gone; he passed away moments earlier following a long battle with Leukemia.

The progression of the disease was long and painful, and we all did the best we could to cope as Dad underwent round after round of chemotherapy, tried all the medications, went in for all the tests, and had all the blood transfusions. We were blessed with a period of remission that lasted several years and we believed the nightmare was over. In our hearts, we were all convinced that he could beat this disease with the strength of his will, the power of his faith, and the support of our love.

We were wrong.

After a time, the medicines didn't work anymore and the doctors began to run out of options. Each new treatment came with harsher and more damaging side effects until finally he decided that the pain and suffering he would have to endure as a result of these 'cures' were now far worse than the disease itself. All treatments failed to maintain his state of remission, but he found peace somewhere in it all through the incredible devotion, love and strength of his wife. Together they accepted what was to come without fear or regret. To the end, their love and unity stood as beacons of hope for the rest of us.

All we, as his children, could do is sit by and watch - clinging to hopes that some miracle might spare him, but knowing at some level that this disease might be stronger than us all. I suppose that we all knew this day would come and were preparing for this moment - each in our own way.

Less than a week before the end, his health took a sharp decline and he realized that this war he had been fighting was nearly at an end. He called each of us to make sure he could say 'I love you' one more time and I heard in his voice something that had never been there before; in my heart I knew this was really the end. This strong, willful, powerhouse of a man had grown too weary to fight. My brothers and sister felt it too, and we each traveled out to see him in the days that followed. We went just to hold his hand, to kiss his forehead, and look into his eyes for what we knew would be the last time. We went to say goodbye.

There is never a 'right time' to let go. Nothing really prepares you for that terrible moment when you realize that the person you love so dearly is really gone. Seeing all he was going through, we all wanted the suffering to end and have had to choke back our own selfish fears and pain to find peace with our great loss. I can now take some small comfort in knowing that he spent his last days surrounded by those he loved most and that he was able to spend his final hours peacefully, in his own bed, under the loving care and unwavering devotion of the one woman in this world who had made his life complete.

I know that there is nothing that can bring my father back to us. Our family will feel this loss for the rest of our days, holding fast to our memories of the wonderful, loving, caring man that cannot be here with us anymore because of this disease. It is my hope that by supporting the research efforts being made to find a cure and develop new treatment options, that maybe other families may not need to suffer through what we have. Maybe another daughter somewhere won't need to feel the emptiness that I now feel. Maybe another life can be preserved.

I appreciate any little bit that you can share in support of this cause. My father always took the time to reach out and help others, regardless of how much he was suffering - so I know in my heart that this is something he would want us to do and this is one way that I can honor his memory with the kind of meaning and purpose that he had devoted his life to.

With a saddened and heavy heart, I thank you.

 

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), founded in 1949, is the world's largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research, education and patient services. LLS's mission is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and myeloma, and to improve the quality of life of patients and their families. LLS created the Information Resource Center (IRC) to provide blood cancer patients, their families and health professionals accurate, current disease information and support. IRC information specialists are social workers, nurses and health educators.

LLS has 64 chapters nationwide, as well as 4 chapters in Canada. See Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada. Nationwide volunteer fundraising events and activities include Team in Training (an endurance sports training program where volunteers train to complete an endurance sports event while fundraising to support the fight against blood cancers), Light The Night Walk (a community-based walk that celebrates patients battling cancer, their families and supporters), and School & Youth (K-12 student service and cooperative team program to raise awareness and funds to fight blood cancer). Each chapter also organizes its own fundraising activities.

Financial information, including Form 990s on this organization can be found on Guidestar. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is accredited with The Better Business Bureau, meeting all 20 standards for charitable accountability and is certified by HonCode, Health on the Net Foundation.