On Wednesday, June 4th, 2008, I gave birth to my son to whom was stillborn.  We named him Lance Michael Robert Kennedy.  Michael is after his Grandpa Mike Kennedy and Robert is after his Grandpa Bob Hoffman.  He was 8 pounds 15 ounces and 21 inches long.  Born at 12:06 am.  39 and 3/7 weeks gestation.

Here's how it happened: 
On Sunday (June 1, 2008) morning I had lots of trouble feeling for his fetal kicks/movements.  I sat down with some juice and lots of sugary foods in order to spike movement with him.  Eventually I got him to kick me very faintly, but a number of times.  To me, I thought that since I was due in a week, the baby must be slowing down....like all babies do right before delivery.  I got busy the rest of the day and didn't notice any strong or faint kicks, but I thought to myself that I just wasn't paying attention to him.  The next day, Monday, I went to work for an 8 hour day.  The whole day I tried to feel for him, but couldn't feel any faint kicks.  I just thought it wasn't a good place or time to focus on his movement.  So, I got home and again drank a bunch of juice to try to get him going.  Nothing.  A couple of hours went by, I was still drinking juice and my husband convinced me that I should call my nurse midwives.  In order to make my husband feel better about the situation I called and was informed to come in to get checked out.  I got there at 7:15 pm and my midwife checked for a heartbeat on the ultrasound, but was having trouble finding one.  She asked an OB resident to check and she found nothing.  Finally the OB consultant checked and confirmed that the baby was stillborn but with unknown etiology.  This was 7:30 pm.  I was surprised at how fast they determined this.  We decided to go through with being induced that night to deliver the baby as quickly as possible and to begin the grieving process.  They started the induction at 9 pm, however I continued to labor all the next day.  I had the largest room in Labor & Delivery, the best nurse and the best anesthesia team to keep my pain well controlled.  I ended up starting to push at 9 pm and Lance was born at 12:06 am Wednesday, June 4th.  He was delivered with the umbilical cord wrapped a number of times around his right arm and keeping it in the flexed position, than wrapped around his back and again tightly around his left arm like a tourniquet.  It was definitely determined that this was the cause.  He looked very peaceful and like he was sleeping.  A very solid and otherwise healthy little boy.  His skin had superficial tears on it from the sloughing that occurs once babies pass away prior to birth.  Soon after we had him blessed by the chaplain,tThe Mayo photographer came by and we dressed Lance in a sleeper & hat that I bought him and we took pictures of him.  The pictures were wonderful and he looked very peaceful.  My family and Scott's family were here to hold him and take pictures with him.  We had feet and hand molds made.  Footprints done. My midwives were extremely supportive and they all came in to see me even when they weren't covering my cares.  They gave many hugs and shared lots of tears with us. 

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, kind words and prayers in the past 15 months.  We are grateful to have such great people surrounding us at over the past year.  Now, for the 2nd year in a row, we are walking for Lance's  memory on Saturday, September 12th for the Missing GRACE Foundation.  (look under the flower image on the upper left of the screen for info on this organization).  Thank you to everyone that donated and/or walked with us last year!  Lance is watching over all of us :)